Introducing: The Hillbilly Martini

Martinis aren’t much more interesting than the people who drink them. Time to give the snooty kid a good hard wedgie.

It’s not that I hate Martinis exactly. It’s more that they’re tedious, like a salad at Cosi or an episode of CSI. You know what you’re getting. They accomplish what they set out to do.

They should call any mixture of gin and vermouth a “Meh-tini.”

And of course the name Martini has been desecrated since the late Clinton administration by the reckless use of flavored vodkas and day-glo sweeteners, resulting in happy hour chalkboards nationwide filled with several varieties of “[WTF]-tinis” for $5.

Then there are the cultural connotations of the drink: haughty, heeled well, self-satisfied  — “classy,” as interpreted by those who view it from below.

What could I do to a Martini, I asked myself, that would inflict culinary interest and cultural disorder  — and still make a great drink? Continue reading “Introducing: The Hillbilly Martini”

The Drunk Monk: Old & “improved”

A new creation with a heritage dating back to 1806. No, wait, it was 1674. Well, whatever. A long time ago.

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The Drunk Monk: An “improved” whiskey cocktail.

Others bring wine to parties.

You are a cocktailer.

And yet…sometimes you barely have 10 minutes to swing by the liquor store. No time for muddling and macerating and suchnot. But you will not stoop to bringing a $26 bottle of Merlot.

Luckily, you have in your back pocket… The Drunk Monk.

The Drunk Monk

  • 4 parts bourbon
    • Most recently I felt expansive and sprang for Basil Hayden’s
  • 1 part Green Chartreuse
  • Showy orange peel garnish

Continue reading “The Drunk Monk: Old & “improved””

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